What God Has Joined Together – III

Posted on 15 Mar 2020, Pastor: Tolu Makinde
Title: What God Has Joined Together – III
Text: Gen 2:7, 18-23
[Gen 2:7]  And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.
[Gen 2:18]  And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
[Gen 2:19]  Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.
[Gen 2:20]  So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
[Gen 2:21]  And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.
[Gen 2:22]  Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
[Gen 2:23]  And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
Last week, we discussed the following:
  • Companionship
  • Marriage Intimacy
  • Committment
  • Leave and Cleave
  • In the book of Genesis, everything God created was good.
  • After God created man, He did not see that it was good
  • God said, it is not good …. And I’ll fix it by making him an help meet
  • Then God created the woman out of the man’s rib, joined them together, and then and only then was man good.
  • Your spouse is the part of you that makes you good, that makes you complete.
  • Without your spouse, it is not good.
Main Topic
Men & Women are different creatures
  • Man was formed from the dust, woman was formed from the rib
  • The rib is a sensitive part of the body, hence women are more sensitive
  • We are different because we were created from two different raw materials
  • A man should not act like a woman, because he was not created to be a woman
  • A woman should not act like a man, because she was not created to be a man
  • Men must function as men, women must function as women
Equal Honor
  • The fact that we are different does not imply that one is superior or inferior to the other.
  • We are different so we can complement each other, as one is not complete without the other.
  • Gen 1:27 – God created male and female in His image
    • [Gen 1:27]  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
  • Gal 3:27-28 – Both men and women are equally honored in Christ
    • [Gal 3:27]  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
      [Gal 3:28]  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
  • We are created to play different roles, and that does not suggest inequality
  • 1 Pet. 3:7 – We are both joint heirs with Christ
    • [1Pe 3:7]  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
    • Honor your wife that your prayers may not be hindered.
Different By Design
  • [Gen 2:18]  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
    • Man was incomplete by himself
    • Woman was created to help, to encourage, and complete the man
    • It is not husband vs. wife, it is husband & wife vs. life
    • We are on the same team.
    • We are not to compete against one another
  • The characteristics of God are found in both men and women
    • Women => tender, gentle, merciful
    • Men => tough, strong, courageous
    • We combine these differences to complement each other
    • We create a team that is tender, gentle, merciful, tough, strong, and courageous
  • Men are physically stronger than women
    • We were created to tend the garden, so we need the physical strength
    • Women, the helpers, were to encourage the man, so she does not need the physical strength
    • Man’s body is 40% muscle, while woman’s is 25%
  • Women are designed for relationship
    • A woman is comfortable sitting around her husband all day
    • Women are very romantic
    • Men are goal oriented, and can’t have peace until they obtain results
    • Men could be very mechanical
Our Brains Are wired differently
  • Women’s brain works like radar, it gathers information from the most unlikely source and give it out.
  • Men process information like computers, and use discretion to reveal it to others
  • On average, a man has the capacity to speak 25K words/day, while a woman has the capacity to speak 30K/day (20% more)
  • After a busy day at work, the man is ready to retire….but the woman still has some left in the tank.
  • If she has been with the children all day, there will still be a lot left in that tank to discuss
  • The best the man can do is to listen, nod your head, and don’t fall asleep.
  • Jud. 16:16-17 – Samson was defeated by the words of Delilah
    • [Jdg 16:16]  And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;
      [Jdg 16:17]  That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother’s womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.
We speak differently
  • Women speak in codes
  • Men speaks bluntly
  • If your wife asks you, “do I look fat in this dress?”
  • If you ask your wife what is wrong, and she says “nothing”
    • It really means “everything” is wrong
    • If you mistakenly interpret the “nothing” as “nothing”…you will be labeled insensitive
    • If you leave her alone, you will not have peace
    • Has your wife ever told you, “If you know me, you will know what is wrong”
    • Men must ask probing questions to get the details of the issue
    • My first question is “did I do something wrong?”
  • Men must learn to decode whatever their wife is saying and act accordingly, if there must be peace
  • On the other hand, men tells it as it is – no codes
    • If a woman ask a man what is wrong
    • Man will not beat around the bush….
Dealing with issues
  • Men like to be left alone to think through a solution
  • Most men don’t like unsolicited advice from their wives, it makes them feel inadequate and unacceptable
    • It ought not to be.  She is your help meet.
  • Women would like to talk to somebody when she is dealing with issues, and demands full attention
  • If you are your wife’s best friend (btw, you must be your wife’s best friend), you must be ready to listen attentively
  • Men, you do not have to do anything.  Just listen.  That’s the solution.
  • Men would want to take action because we are action oriented, but she’s not asking you to solve the problem, she just wants you to listen
How do you understand your differences?
  1. Purposefully study each other. Husbands must know their wives, and wives must know their husbands. You must be able to read each other like a book.
  2. Spend quality time with each other
  3. Communicate openly with each other. Please don’t speak in codes or expect your spouse to be a mind reader. Don’t hide anything.
  4. Pray together – be intimate spiritually
  • We are different because we are designed that way
  • We are to embrace the difference rather than reject it
  • We are different so that we can complement each other.